Table of Contents
Foreward
History Setting up the Truck Sleeping Positions Car Seats Feeding Cleaning Bottles Burping Showering Playtime What to do when the truck stops Preparing to Adjust for Milestones Locations Forbidden to Little Ones Finding Time for each other Scheduling for Team Parents Adjusting between on and off the road Preparing for the Winter Season Stories from People who have done it |
Foreword
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me,” Phillipians 4:13
I would like to welcome you all to Baby on Board, the amateur online manual for how to bring your Baby out on the road with you.
I want you to understand that it will not be easy - there will be long sleepless nights, tears and possibly some arguments; but I want you to understand more than anything that it is more than worth it. I stand here now three years onwards and I watch the incredible relationship that my son has with his Father, and I know that every tear was worth it.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank Deanne Puloka who recommended I share my experiences to help others and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who brought me through the darker times.
Kirsty Foster
I want you to understand that it will not be easy - there will be long sleepless nights, tears and possibly some arguments; but I want you to understand more than anything that it is more than worth it. I stand here now three years onwards and I watch the incredible relationship that my son has with his Father, and I know that every tear was worth it.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank Deanne Puloka who recommended I share my experiences to help others and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who brought me through the darker times.
Kirsty Foster
History
Pregnancy
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” -Psalm 139:13-14
James and I knew that we wanted to have kids right from the beginning of our marriage, but we wanted to wait until we had a good stable home for them and that was the one thing that we didn’t have. Only one time did we even consider the possibility of having one child out on the road, but I remember my own words, “That would be far too dangerous.” And that was the end of the conversation. We drove for years, trying to earn the money to buy a home, but after a number of mishaps along the way we still had nothing after five years. I remember giving up hope that we would ever be in a position to have children.
And then it happened. I had been taking some time off the road for several months, working a retail job when I tested positive. I excitedly called James and let him know that we were going to have a baby. I was also afraid and nervous about how he would take the news, particularly since we had decided that we still weren’t in a position to have a child. To my delight he took it really well and was even excited himself that we were finally going to have a baby.
I spent my first trimester off the truck. I remember that morning sickness took me hard and I spent a lot of time sleeping when I wasn’t working. Towards the end of the first trimester, we found ourselves confronted with yet another financial problem that threatened to destroy everything that we had worked towards yet again. We realized that my minimum wage job was no longer going to cut it. I needed to go back to team driving with my husband out on the road. I was not happy. I had thought my driving days were over and the idea of morning sickness in a moving truck was not a pleasant thought. A lot of other things went through my mind also. What if we were in accident? What if something went wrong? What if I needed a doctor? All these things were valid fears, but when I was little my Dad taught me something very important:
And then it happened. I had been taking some time off the road for several months, working a retail job when I tested positive. I excitedly called James and let him know that we were going to have a baby. I was also afraid and nervous about how he would take the news, particularly since we had decided that we still weren’t in a position to have a child. To my delight he took it really well and was even excited himself that we were finally going to have a baby.
I spent my first trimester off the truck. I remember that morning sickness took me hard and I spent a lot of time sleeping when I wasn’t working. Towards the end of the first trimester, we found ourselves confronted with yet another financial problem that threatened to destroy everything that we had worked towards yet again. We realized that my minimum wage job was no longer going to cut it. I needed to go back to team driving with my husband out on the road. I was not happy. I had thought my driving days were over and the idea of morning sickness in a moving truck was not a pleasant thought. A lot of other things went through my mind also. What if we were in accident? What if something went wrong? What if I needed a doctor? All these things were valid fears, but when I was little my Dad taught me something very important:
"If you fear something you should not run from it. You need to face it down and overcome it.” – Robert Warrington
When we asked ourselves these questions of doubt and expressed our fears to one another, we did our best to talk about what we could do to solve the problems. What could we do to be prepared?
I found myself on the truck at the beginning of October. It was a wonderful time that allowed the two of us to bond before the arrival of our little one. We played computer games together, watched movies and spent a lot of time chatting about the future. We even did a little sight-seeing knowing that it would be a long time before were got to do it again. The baby loved being in the truck. Even though he was still in my belly, he would run and kick until the truck started moving and then he would sleep. Out of my entire pregnancy, the best sleep I ever got was in the truck while it was moving down the road. It was incredible. |
The cats weren’t impressed. They were upset that it was now very difficult to sleep on my lap while I was driving. The baby took a particular disliking to one of them. Smokey refused to be moved, he would sit draped over my belly and the baby would kick him for hours on end.
Towards the end of the third trimester, driving did became more difficult. I had to move my chair back in order to make room for my belly. It became very difficult to perform the physical tasks involved in trucking. Raising and lowering the landing gear was the most difficult and walking a long way to the shipping and receiving office was difficult too. I had spent a lot of my pregnancy off my feet resting or sitting and driving so it felt like my stomach muscles never developed to properly support the baby when I was walking. I am very sure that securing a flatbed load would have been impossible.
Another problem that I faced towards the end of my pregnancy was that I was struggling to maintain my hydration and potassium levels. I had a lot of cramping and swelling in my legs. It was not surprising. One of the number one things that forces pregnant truckers of the road is hydration levels.
As my due date approached, we prepared in the truck for what we would do if the baby came early. We had instructions printed off and important items gathered just in case my husband would have to deliver the baby himself. We talked about the possible 911 call, what we would do with the truck and trailer, how he would pick me up from the hospital, taxi fares, supplies that would need to be purchased. We talked about a lot of things.
My OBGYN ordered me off the road at six weeks before my due date, however we got stuck out on the road and that brought us back into town at the four week mark.
My husband and the cats went back out on the road and we knew with the way things were looking that it was more than likely he would not make it back for the birth. This is one of the things that commonly happens to truckers wives on and off the road, and it is my opinion that it takes an incredibly strong woman to forgive their man and let it go. A long time ago, it was not uncommon for a man not to be present during the birth of his child. They might have been soldiers, merchants or businessmen or farmers who had to watch over their animals own birth instead of his wives. It is only in the last twenty-five years that men have been even allowed in the room to attend the birth. Somehow this has become society’s accepted norm which is a good thing, but the problem lies in the fact that any couple outside that norm are now considered a tragedy.
Those last few weeks before the birth were long and lonely. I was tired and was ready to be on to the next stage of my life. I was ready to be a Mum.
Towards the end of the third trimester, driving did became more difficult. I had to move my chair back in order to make room for my belly. It became very difficult to perform the physical tasks involved in trucking. Raising and lowering the landing gear was the most difficult and walking a long way to the shipping and receiving office was difficult too. I had spent a lot of my pregnancy off my feet resting or sitting and driving so it felt like my stomach muscles never developed to properly support the baby when I was walking. I am very sure that securing a flatbed load would have been impossible.
Another problem that I faced towards the end of my pregnancy was that I was struggling to maintain my hydration and potassium levels. I had a lot of cramping and swelling in my legs. It was not surprising. One of the number one things that forces pregnant truckers of the road is hydration levels.
As my due date approached, we prepared in the truck for what we would do if the baby came early. We had instructions printed off and important items gathered just in case my husband would have to deliver the baby himself. We talked about the possible 911 call, what we would do with the truck and trailer, how he would pick me up from the hospital, taxi fares, supplies that would need to be purchased. We talked about a lot of things.
My OBGYN ordered me off the road at six weeks before my due date, however we got stuck out on the road and that brought us back into town at the four week mark.
My husband and the cats went back out on the road and we knew with the way things were looking that it was more than likely he would not make it back for the birth. This is one of the things that commonly happens to truckers wives on and off the road, and it is my opinion that it takes an incredibly strong woman to forgive their man and let it go. A long time ago, it was not uncommon for a man not to be present during the birth of his child. They might have been soldiers, merchants or businessmen or farmers who had to watch over their animals own birth instead of his wives. It is only in the last twenty-five years that men have been even allowed in the room to attend the birth. Somehow this has become society’s accepted norm which is a good thing, but the problem lies in the fact that any couple outside that norm are now considered a tragedy.
Those last few weeks before the birth were long and lonely. I was tired and was ready to be on to the next stage of my life. I was ready to be a Mum.
Birth
“Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.” – Psalm 22:9-10
The Sunday night before our son was born was an interesting night. I was having contractions and couldn’t sleep and like many crazy pregnant ladies, I entertained myself by Googling various ways to encourage labor. I at spicy food, jumped up and down, did squats, drank tea. There are a lot of crazy things that people have come up with to try and force labor to happen. I also knew that my mother in law was headed out of town that Tuesday and I wanted her to be present for the birth. My own parents live in New Zealand so I wanted at least one of the grandparents there at the birth.
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The next morning I went into real labor (I think it was the spicy noodles personally). I freaked out. I had never felt anything quite like it. I asked to be taken to the hospital, because I thought the contractions were close enough, even though my water had not broken yet. They almost sent me home at first to wait out my labor, but when they checked my blood pressure they decided to keep me there. That evening, at about nine o’clock, our little boy was born. My husband was not physically present, but my mother in law held up my tablet so that my husband could watch and listen in. Isn’t technology wonderful?
The day that I was released from the hospital, my husband made it back in and was able to watch the baby for a couple of hours while I slept. He left out again that same evening to finish the load he was on. He planned to be back in town after two weeks to help me out with the baby and to make some decisions.
The day that I was released from the hospital, my husband made it back in and was able to watch the baby for a couple of hours while I slept. He left out again that same evening to finish the load he was on. He planned to be back in town after two weeks to help me out with the baby and to make some decisions.
Decisions
“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
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My first two weeks were incredibly difficult. I can only
imagine what it’s like being a single parent of a newborn and my sympathies go
out to you. You are amazing for what you went through. I only had to this time
that I realized how much my husband is a rock and pillar in my life.
I spent my first two weeks alone with my newborn. Sure, I had plenty of company during the day. Friends and family came to see the baby and helped me watch him, but as soon as everyone went home or went to bed - I was alone. |
The little one didn’t want to eat, sleep be put down or held. As soon as it got dark and quiet, he only wanted to cry. My only experience with a baby throughout my whole life was with my brother who I was not allowed to hold – and for good reason. I was clumsy. The only experience I had to rely on was the Sims. As funny as it is, that game has a very practical view of handling a baby. Is it hungry? Does it need to be changed? Does it need a bath? Does it need to sleep? Does it need to be held? Of course, the game doesn’t explain what happens when you reach the end of the list – which is you conclude that you will not be sleeping and you need to find something to entertain you.
My parents, who live in New Zealand kept me company during those long nights which was a huge blessing. The time zone difference meant that they were chatting with me during their afternoon and dinner time. They were able to give me the advice I needed and talk me through the tough times. Skype was my best friend.
My parents, who live in New Zealand kept me company during those long nights which was a huge blessing. The time zone difference meant that they were chatting with me during their afternoon and dinner time. They were able to give me the advice I needed and talk me through the tough times. Skype was my best friend.
My husband, James changed his driving schedule so that he could be up with me also. James arrived home at the end of those two weeks and stayed with me for another two weeks so that we could make some important decisions. We needed to decide what we were going to do next. Once again we were broke. My sister in law helped us apply for assistance the government who in turn decided to give us $30.00 a month. I don’t understand how anyone thinks that a baby could be fed on $30.00, but apparently someone thinks so. |
We had a number of wonderful offers from family and friends who offered to take our little one and care for him while we earned some money to pay off our debts, and while we discussed this possibility in depth, it somehow felt deeply wrong. My family had moved to Tonga when I was child and they never even considered the possibility that me and my brother should stay behind. Why should I be doing the same now? The time I spent with my parents in Tonga was incredibly important to me as a child and even though our son wouldn’t remember much of his time on the truck; he would be with his Mum and Dad and that would be all that mattered. Our decision was finalized. All three of us would be going out on the road together. As a family.
After we made our decision, we did a lot of research. Unfortunately, there just wasn’t a lot out there on the internet about doing what we were planning to do. People had spoken about their plans online, but had never explained what happened when they followed through with those plans. We tried to plan out all the solutions to the problems we might encounter out on the road. We looked at all the baby supplies that we had, and tried to figure out which ones were the absolute bare essentials. In the end, we loaded most of them in the truck anyway. |
I warn you now, we faced a lot of criticism when we first announced our decision to our family and friends. It was not a pleasant time. Everyone in the world has their own idea of how a baby should be raised and they are all unique. One thing that almost everyone agrees on is that a semi-truck is no place for a delicate little newborn. We pushed through those arguments and at the end of that first month we loaded everything that we might need into the truck and left.
On the Road
“That they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” – John 17:21
We left out on the road with no idea what to do with our little one. We loaded everything into the truck that we thought we might need and drove down the street. Determination and creativity on our minds and went out on our road. We spent the first few weeks figuring out the set up on the truck. I have covered this below in more detail. We spent the next few months adjusting everything we learned and improving on it, and then having to adjust it all again as we met a new milestone. I want to advise you that patience and creativity will be key to your making your new life in the truck work. We had a lot of good times and it was wonderful that James could be there almost every step of the way. |
At first, the two of us continued to drive as a team. James would drive during the day while I slept and I would drive at night while he slept. This did not work as well as we had planned. James had issues caring for our newborn. He has trouble being careful when he is tired, which I have been told by a psychologist is not uncommon for a lot of men. They just don’t like to admit it. As a result for the first year, I wound up doing most of the work caring for the little one. In consolation, he would drive for me whenever I needed a break, and helped with the cooking and laundry. I won’t lie to you, it was difficult for me, I felt like a zombie after getting only four or five hours of sleep a night. The little one would only sleep for two hours at a time some days and then I would be up driving in the darkness with very little to keep my mind active. However, when I first started driving, I did enjoy the peace and quiet and the time to myself.
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In the mornings he would wake up in his car seat and we would play games together. He loved and still is a fan of peek-a-boo. He loved to hold a pen and wave it around (this has developed into a love of swords). He enjoyed the books on that I would play for him on my tablet
As the little one started to crawl, life suddenly became interesting. We had to set up a play pen for him on the floor so that he could play with his toys because he would not want to sit in his chair as often. I would watch him and keep him from falling and hitting his head while the truck was in motion. Sometimes we would put him on a child leash on the bottom bunk so that he would not fall off the bed. There he would play with his toys and have a lot of fun.
As the little one started to walk just before turning one, we found that we needed to pull him off the truck. He was starting to get into trouble around the truck. Pushing buttons, dismantling his play pens, trying to stick his fingers into the workings of the chairs – none of them good for a baby. He had also moved to taking only one nap a day, which meant that James and I were not getting enough sleep. He would make loud noises whenever he was awake and playing which kept the adult not on duty from sleeping.
We later returned back onto the truck when he was slightly older and sturdier. He was able to climb well which suited him much better on the road. All this is covered in Toddlers on Trucks. |