There have always been women in the truck industry, not many, but always there nonetheless. Where there is a married male trucker there is either a wife working beside him or at home taking care of the business and home side of things or just taking care of the kids. There have always been single women out there on the road and sometimes single mothers taking care of kids either on the road or back home.
However, there have never been very many. Even in modern times there are still not many women - totally currently at 200,000 out of 3.5 million, in the trucking industry, but the number out there increase more with every year. And this number does not include the wives back home that really should be counted, because they are in fact part of the industry.
The women in trucking, and I kind of hinted at this before are broken in to 2 groups. I will attempt to inform you about those two groups and hope that I can do both.
However, there have never been very many. Even in modern times there are still not many women - totally currently at 200,000 out of 3.5 million, in the trucking industry, but the number out there increase more with every year. And this number does not include the wives back home that really should be counted, because they are in fact part of the industry.
The women in trucking, and I kind of hinted at this before are broken in to 2 groups. I will attempt to inform you about those two groups and hope that I can do both.
Wives at home
Truckers wives - that stay at home, deal with all kinds of issues. In fact I have heard them called, "living widows," which to a certain extent is true. Their men go out for months at a time on the road, occasionally coming home to them - often too tired to do anything. As a result, these hard working women raise kids, take care of the house, learn to switch out water heaters and many other household tasks a man might normally do, they hire contractors, buy cars, pay the bills, and the list goes on. They essentially do the work of a single parent, even though in modern time staying in touch has become much easier.
There are so many women in this situation and so many different ways that they handle this situation and so many problems that arise that they have to learn to handle both physically and emotionally by themselves. I have spoken to many such women both while out on the road and while at home.
One women I spoke to loved the fact that her husband was almost never at home.
Truckers wives - that stay at home, deal with all kinds of issues. In fact I have heard them called, "living widows," which to a certain extent is true. Their men go out for months at a time on the road, occasionally coming home to them - often too tired to do anything. As a result, these hard working women raise kids, take care of the house, learn to switch out water heaters and many other household tasks a man might normally do, they hire contractors, buy cars, pay the bills, and the list goes on. They essentially do the work of a single parent, even though in modern time staying in touch has become much easier.
There are so many women in this situation and so many different ways that they handle this situation and so many problems that arise that they have to learn to handle both physically and emotionally by themselves. I have spoken to many such women both while out on the road and while at home.
One women I spoke to loved the fact that her husband was almost never at home.
"I always appreciate him more when he comes home," she had said to me.
I hate it when my husband goes out, but I do the best I can for him. I check the weather and traffic for him where he is at, and when he is home I make it feel like he is loved and appreciated."
And while it is truly inspirational to hear how this women handle a very tough situation, many other women do not handle this situation at all well, and needless to say there are far too many broken families in the trucking industry. Wives leave because they need to be loved, leaving because they want more security, leaving because they are suspicious, because their husbands do not want to spend any time with them when they come home. T husbands cheat with other female truckers or with prostitutes, some try to hold down multiple families, some sleep with their male co drivers and some just like sleep around like sailors of old used to - a women in every port.
I lived in Tonga, a small country in the pacific at one point and my mother used to say to me about that place, "Moving to this country either brings a couple closer or breaks you apart." This is true of all tough situations - especially the trucking industry. It will test the strength and steel of your marriage and whether you make it through this (because believe me there will be tough times) is up to the both of you and how you choose to handle it.
If you are new to being a trucker's wife (stay at home - of course) then there are a couple of things you will need to figure out and come to understand at first both with your partner and in yourself:
How long will your man be trucking?
Is it a permanent thing? For some women knowing that it is for a short period of time will either help make it easier or at least bring an acceptance and possibly an understanding to the situation.
How do we keep the romance alive?
This something you and your partner will have to figure out. Trucking is a very short notice industry and baby sitters are not exactly easy to find on short notice especially after certain hours.
Vacation!
Take a month or two or three off. Ride out with your man and understand what he goes through on a day to day basis.
Communication and Technology!
Get as much technology that allows you to keep up the communication. Talk on the phone. If your man likes to play video games while he is out on the road (which most truckers do) learn how to play at least some of those games. Watch movies together - some of the online places such as netflix and vudu mean you can be watching at the same time.
A clean and organized home
Now to the modern women this might seem a bit archaic, but know this, if you provide a clean organized home for your man to come home to (it doesn't have to be clean while he is away), it makes him feel a bit better and more secure about you being fine while he is away. Yes, its archaic, but that does not mean it is not true.
Awkward times
Be prepared. Trucking is an industry that makes it very hard to plan with. Truckers are subject to timing laws, their customers and their company as to where they go and when they can go. You might get and approximate day of arrival for him being 2 weeks away, you will get an almost definite days 2 days away and then you won't know the actual hour until the day and even then it is sketchy. If you have anything important coming up make sure he is in at least 2-3 days before hand and always be prepared to pick your man up at 2am.
Finding a support group helps many women - truckerswives.org is a great place and many women do find solace and help there.
I lived in Tonga, a small country in the pacific at one point and my mother used to say to me about that place, "Moving to this country either brings a couple closer or breaks you apart." This is true of all tough situations - especially the trucking industry. It will test the strength and steel of your marriage and whether you make it through this (because believe me there will be tough times) is up to the both of you and how you choose to handle it.
If you are new to being a trucker's wife (stay at home - of course) then there are a couple of things you will need to figure out and come to understand at first both with your partner and in yourself:
How long will your man be trucking?
Is it a permanent thing? For some women knowing that it is for a short period of time will either help make it easier or at least bring an acceptance and possibly an understanding to the situation.
How do we keep the romance alive?
This something you and your partner will have to figure out. Trucking is a very short notice industry and baby sitters are not exactly easy to find on short notice especially after certain hours.
Vacation!
Take a month or two or three off. Ride out with your man and understand what he goes through on a day to day basis.
Communication and Technology!
Get as much technology that allows you to keep up the communication. Talk on the phone. If your man likes to play video games while he is out on the road (which most truckers do) learn how to play at least some of those games. Watch movies together - some of the online places such as netflix and vudu mean you can be watching at the same time.
A clean and organized home
Now to the modern women this might seem a bit archaic, but know this, if you provide a clean organized home for your man to come home to (it doesn't have to be clean while he is away), it makes him feel a bit better and more secure about you being fine while he is away. Yes, its archaic, but that does not mean it is not true.
Awkward times
Be prepared. Trucking is an industry that makes it very hard to plan with. Truckers are subject to timing laws, their customers and their company as to where they go and when they can go. You might get and approximate day of arrival for him being 2 weeks away, you will get an almost definite days 2 days away and then you won't know the actual hour until the day and even then it is sketchy. If you have anything important coming up make sure he is in at least 2-3 days before hand and always be prepared to pick your man up at 2am.
Finding a support group helps many women - truckerswives.org is a great place and many women do find solace and help there.
Wives and women on the road
The first thing you need to understand about woman truckers - no matter what they look like or who you think they are; is that they are tough. They have to be in order to survive under the stressful conditions under which they live, especially seeing as many of these women do not want to be out on the road, but circumstance or the love of a husband or partner has forced them into this life. On the other hand, some do want to be out there. It is hard to know.
On the whole women on the road tend to dress practically. They where clothes that are comfortable to drive in - because believe me driving long hours in a skirt is not fun because it rides up, shorts above the knee in the summer mean your legs get stuck to the leather seat and trying to climb out of the truck in heels is not fun. Then there is the consideration that if you dress a certain way, some of the rougher truckers will try and pick you up or the cops might just pick you up (prostitution being illegal in most states, but not really). Needless to say, dressing for success in the trucking industry is very different than in many other industries.
You really have to admire women truckers. They take a lot more verbal abuse than their counterparts in other industries. I remember, while at home base one time, answering a number of difficult questions that I frequently answer to many male truckers. It doesn't bother me, I know that they aren't intentionally being nosy or rough. A female office worker passed us up, overheard the conversation and proceeded to tell them off, leaving me sitting there somewhat flabergasted. At that point the conversation ended.
What she didn't understand is that the industry is rough, the language is rough, and the people in it are tough. In some ways it is it's own culture and you have the choice as a women to try and control it - and many do try. As a result all the conversation end, they are left alone and it eventually destroys them. Or you can submit to the industry, assimilate into it and become a part of it. I have always liked the quote, "In order to control something, you must submit to it first." I usually think of change rather than control though. Submitting brings understanding and you can't make a difference in anything unless you first understand it. Anyway, back on topic.
Toilets are another not so fun part of being out on the road. It is really quite funny how almost all states and many shippers and receivers do not seem to understand that truckers are human need to use the rest room once and awhile. I have been at many locations and either been told, "We have no restrooms," "We don't let your kind use our rest rooms," and my favorite courtesy of Baltimore, Maryland "Here is the men's restroom (hole in ground covered in excrement)." For a man, this not that much of a problem, but for a woman this can quickly become a nightmare. I have spoken to many women of this and they are angry about it and been forced into making many difficult choices as a result. It is one of the dirty secrets of the industry that no one really wants to talk about and as a result it is not getting solved and the women in the industry continue to suffer.
Now this is something that is getting better, but it is still occasionally a problem. Sometimes a shipper or receiver, an office employee or just an old school dock worker, will talk down to you as a women trucker. They will assume that you are a stupid women who does not know her trucking stuff or in the case of the office workers they will treat you like you are less than human. Quite frankly it is disgusting behavior and only that way because of a lack of understanding on their part.
In the case of the dock worker you need to show them that you know your stuff and stand firm on something you know is right, but they know is wrong. This is most important if you are a flat bed driver, because you know your truck and your trailer and they don't. As a trucker you are responsible for that load while it is on your truck. Do not let them push you around!
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do for the office worker. Just remember, that you will probably never see that person again. If it gets too out of hand - like lawsuit against the company out of hand, either point out to them that they are in the wrong or call in the supervisor.
As I said before, it is getting much better.
And finally, there are the little things that are very individual to each women truckers situation.
If you do dishes, the looks of dismay from non-truckers as you do dishes in the womens' restroom at a truck stop. Likewise, if you are brushing you teeth and putting on make-up.
If you have a child with you as I did at one point, the looks of disgust you get from many people.
Single parents or even both parents who have been forced into a situation of leaving their kids behind so they can make a new and better life for their kids. Often leaving struggling and frustrated grandparents behind them.
What do the women truckers want?
This is something that I have heard fairly commonly in overheard male conversations in both truck stops and terminal common rooms. Many of the male truck drivers want to understand what we are all about, how we want to be treated and very confused as to why we become truckers in the first place.
They understand the rough conditions out on the road and the general impression and understanding of women is that we do like our comforts ( a shower every day, a comfortable bed, plenty of sleep, clean clothes, etc) - which is true, so many of them are confused as to why we even consider coming out there. And I am sure that if you are a women who is not a trucker, having read some of what I have written, you are probably confused too.
We do it for many reasons.
As I mentioned before, many of us love our man enough to have overcome our like for our little comforts, others really have no other option - particularly in these tough times, and an uncomfortable truck bed is better than a park bench and as I said earlier some women do just love the rough life.
We understand that we are pioneers in a male dominated industry so we know that the talk is rough and that we need to carve new roads of understanding in the industry. We know that we need to work at it so the next woman behind us has an easier time.
Many of us just want to be left alone, we are not out here to look for a man, we are out here to work.
I don't personally, but many of us are happy to talk trucks, truck war stories, mechanical problems and technilogical break-throughs.
So, overall, you can see what I mean by my saying that these women are truly tough as nails. If you intend to go out on the road on your own as a women driver or joining your man as a team driver, just be prepared to learn a whole new way of life. Be understanding and know that for awhile you may or may not go through culture shock.
Or if your man is looking at going out on the road and leaving you back home, be strong, be full of hope and be prepared. Remember, "A good woman can make or break a man."
And if you are man who is just confused by all of us crazy women. Be patient and you will start to understand us as more of us appear in the industry.
We all have to keep going. Stand strong and never give up hope!
Safe Driving!
The first thing you need to understand about woman truckers - no matter what they look like or who you think they are; is that they are tough. They have to be in order to survive under the stressful conditions under which they live, especially seeing as many of these women do not want to be out on the road, but circumstance or the love of a husband or partner has forced them into this life. On the other hand, some do want to be out there. It is hard to know.
On the whole women on the road tend to dress practically. They where clothes that are comfortable to drive in - because believe me driving long hours in a skirt is not fun because it rides up, shorts above the knee in the summer mean your legs get stuck to the leather seat and trying to climb out of the truck in heels is not fun. Then there is the consideration that if you dress a certain way, some of the rougher truckers will try and pick you up or the cops might just pick you up (prostitution being illegal in most states, but not really). Needless to say, dressing for success in the trucking industry is very different than in many other industries.
You really have to admire women truckers. They take a lot more verbal abuse than their counterparts in other industries. I remember, while at home base one time, answering a number of difficult questions that I frequently answer to many male truckers. It doesn't bother me, I know that they aren't intentionally being nosy or rough. A female office worker passed us up, overheard the conversation and proceeded to tell them off, leaving me sitting there somewhat flabergasted. At that point the conversation ended.
What she didn't understand is that the industry is rough, the language is rough, and the people in it are tough. In some ways it is it's own culture and you have the choice as a women to try and control it - and many do try. As a result all the conversation end, they are left alone and it eventually destroys them. Or you can submit to the industry, assimilate into it and become a part of it. I have always liked the quote, "In order to control something, you must submit to it first." I usually think of change rather than control though. Submitting brings understanding and you can't make a difference in anything unless you first understand it. Anyway, back on topic.
Toilets are another not so fun part of being out on the road. It is really quite funny how almost all states and many shippers and receivers do not seem to understand that truckers are human need to use the rest room once and awhile. I have been at many locations and either been told, "We have no restrooms," "We don't let your kind use our rest rooms," and my favorite courtesy of Baltimore, Maryland "Here is the men's restroom (hole in ground covered in excrement)." For a man, this not that much of a problem, but for a woman this can quickly become a nightmare. I have spoken to many women of this and they are angry about it and been forced into making many difficult choices as a result. It is one of the dirty secrets of the industry that no one really wants to talk about and as a result it is not getting solved and the women in the industry continue to suffer.
Now this is something that is getting better, but it is still occasionally a problem. Sometimes a shipper or receiver, an office employee or just an old school dock worker, will talk down to you as a women trucker. They will assume that you are a stupid women who does not know her trucking stuff or in the case of the office workers they will treat you like you are less than human. Quite frankly it is disgusting behavior and only that way because of a lack of understanding on their part.
In the case of the dock worker you need to show them that you know your stuff and stand firm on something you know is right, but they know is wrong. This is most important if you are a flat bed driver, because you know your truck and your trailer and they don't. As a trucker you are responsible for that load while it is on your truck. Do not let them push you around!
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do for the office worker. Just remember, that you will probably never see that person again. If it gets too out of hand - like lawsuit against the company out of hand, either point out to them that they are in the wrong or call in the supervisor.
As I said before, it is getting much better.
And finally, there are the little things that are very individual to each women truckers situation.
If you do dishes, the looks of dismay from non-truckers as you do dishes in the womens' restroom at a truck stop. Likewise, if you are brushing you teeth and putting on make-up.
If you have a child with you as I did at one point, the looks of disgust you get from many people.
Single parents or even both parents who have been forced into a situation of leaving their kids behind so they can make a new and better life for their kids. Often leaving struggling and frustrated grandparents behind them.
What do the women truckers want?
This is something that I have heard fairly commonly in overheard male conversations in both truck stops and terminal common rooms. Many of the male truck drivers want to understand what we are all about, how we want to be treated and very confused as to why we become truckers in the first place.
They understand the rough conditions out on the road and the general impression and understanding of women is that we do like our comforts ( a shower every day, a comfortable bed, plenty of sleep, clean clothes, etc) - which is true, so many of them are confused as to why we even consider coming out there. And I am sure that if you are a women who is not a trucker, having read some of what I have written, you are probably confused too.
We do it for many reasons.
As I mentioned before, many of us love our man enough to have overcome our like for our little comforts, others really have no other option - particularly in these tough times, and an uncomfortable truck bed is better than a park bench and as I said earlier some women do just love the rough life.
We understand that we are pioneers in a male dominated industry so we know that the talk is rough and that we need to carve new roads of understanding in the industry. We know that we need to work at it so the next woman behind us has an easier time.
Many of us just want to be left alone, we are not out here to look for a man, we are out here to work.
I don't personally, but many of us are happy to talk trucks, truck war stories, mechanical problems and technilogical break-throughs.
So, overall, you can see what I mean by my saying that these women are truly tough as nails. If you intend to go out on the road on your own as a women driver or joining your man as a team driver, just be prepared to learn a whole new way of life. Be understanding and know that for awhile you may or may not go through culture shock.
Or if your man is looking at going out on the road and leaving you back home, be strong, be full of hope and be prepared. Remember, "A good woman can make or break a man."
And if you are man who is just confused by all of us crazy women. Be patient and you will start to understand us as more of us appear in the industry.
We all have to keep going. Stand strong and never give up hope!
Safe Driving!